Roman Bradley Thouvenin

~~July 6th, 2009 Roman's first angelversary poem:
Today my angel watches over me,
It is his first angelversary.
My heart is heavy, my heart is sad,
You are missed by your Mom and Dad.

Balloons will float up to the sky,
Tears will be shed, yes we will cry.
But living in Heaven there is no pain,
And I know at my time I will see you again.

Your little hands touched so many lives,
A love stirred up, in us revives.
Missing you dearly each and every day,
You, my son, are the reason I pray.

Please give me a sign you are watching from above,
Let me know you can still feel our love.
I wish our two worlds weren't so far apart,
But Roman, my baby, you're always in my heart.




~~~July 1st,2009 Roman's first birthday poem:

Today, my son, you are 1 year old
I wish you were here for me to hold.
Will you be watching me today from above,
Will the sun shine or will it be cold?

Can you still feel how much you are loved
With wings you fly, now like a dove
I miss you my Roman, sweet little boy
But life's circle closed, away you were shoved.

A bond was made, can never destroy
The love that is felt, you are my joy
I will never say the word "good bye"
I'll love you forever, my sweet little boy.

Tears flow, yes I still cry
In Heaven my angel, with wings you fly
Until we meet again my sweet Roman,
I see you as my star in the sky.




Roman's Story

I got home Monday afternoon (June 30th) and Tuesday morning (July 1st) at 4:50am I felt like I had
to pee bad. Well it wasn't pee. My water broke. Brad immediately called 911 and our nearest
hospital. While on the phone with the hospital, out came Roman at 5:15am. Brad did awesome! He was
scared and freaking out but he was so strong for me. He helped deliver the baby and keep him warm
until the ambulance came.
The ambulance took me to Pontiac hospital and they life flighted Roman to the NICU in Peoria. My
mom and dad, who were visiting from West Virginia, went with Roman and Brad stayed with me. I had to
have a D&C since the placenta wasn't fully "expelled."
Roman's lungs weren't fully formed and he was dependant on a respirator. He also had some placenta
blood back flush into him and he was all red in color. The nurse also said he hasn't been moving
except for twitches and involuntary movements because he's using all his energy to profuse the
oxygen. Brad had to consent for a bunch of things such as blood transfusion (just incase) while I
was out for the D&C and he was all worried that he did the right thing.
Brad and I were with Roman until 4am Saturday (July 5th) morning. We went back to the apartment we
were staying at and got a call at 11am (Sunday July 6th)from the hospital requesting we come right
away. We got up and zoomed over to the hospital (only 2 blocks away).
Dr. Hocker, the head pediatrician, was our doctor this weekend. We had a meeting with him and they
found out so many things about Roman over night. He had:

-Spinal menangitis
-Blindness
-Hydrocephalus
-His brain was only firing minimal synapses (no movement was controlled, only jerky moves)
-Cerebral palsy
-His lungs were failing and he needed nitrogen pumped into his oxygen to keep O2 flowing
-His bowels weren't fully formed so they couldn't give him nutrition other than by blood because he
had no way to expel it from his body (poop)
-Severe brain damage, would never have logic or reason or be able to understand or communicate
-Blood was bypassing his lungs and his body was reverting to in-utero status

Brad and I had a BIG decision to make. Did we want Ro to be in this state forever or did we want to
stop life support and let our son rest after fighting SO hard?
We decided since our son would have no quality of life to disconnect the life support. We both got
to hold him while he was still hooked up to the vents and we got pictures. We cried, prayed, and
said our "good-byes" and told him that we would see him again in Heaven when Heavenly Father chose
our time to be with him again. We then left.
My mom and dad were there and they cleaned him up, dressed him in a suit, and removed the vent. Mom
was there when he passed officially. I just couldn't do it. I didn't want to let my son go. EVER.
But that was being selfish of me. Roman was so tired from fighting he was on his 3rd blood
transfusion of the day, and it had only been2 hours since his last 3 transfusions. He fought so hard
he was using up all his white blood cells just to fight the infections, swelling, and other issues.
I could just tell by looking at my son that he was so tired and he needed us to let him know it was
ok to rest. He fought hard enough.